Russian email order brides

So we all get those emails where it's from someone we don't know and the subject line is "hello friend" or some other bullshit greeting. Usually they are erased without being opened, because I don't want to increase my cup size, length or girthen (is that a word) my penis, or stock up on prescription drugs.

Earlier this week, I received an email with a subject line of "hello, how you?" I think it was around 11pm and I was bored drinking a beer, so I opened it. This was the body of the email:

Give get acquainted?

What is your name?

and here were the attached fotos:

At the time I thought it was strange, so I deleted it. However, yesterday I get another email from the same address, and this one was incredible. The subject line was "its me again" and here's what it said, along with more sweet camera fone pics:

Hello!!! my name Alyona !
It is my first time I try to correspondence with man in internet world.
I do hope you will be enough patient to understand my writing.
I want you to know that I have only good intentions and I don`t have big secrets.
The thing is that I will work abroad for three months or so and I would like to meet a nice man to be my guide or just be good friend to spend time with.
I think that it is hard enough to live in foreign town without friends and also I have never been abroad. I am from so small town here in Russia,I am afraid to be lost.
I don't want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here,it is hardly possible to explain it by the first time but I want you to know my plans.
In Russia many young girls also want to start a new life abroad, so many of them
used a special program "Work and travel" for young people who wants to work abroad.
I also decided to do so and to use it. This program just helps to register documents and gives suitable work in your area. I already started to register documents and now I need to decide in which city I want to work.
I will work as a dance teacher I`m a professional dancer,I dance in group on festivals, wedding celebrations etc.
Well,I will close this letter and I do hope to get your reply.
I will leave my town in a few days or so (I can't tell you everything exactly right now) and I would like to be sure that I have a man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I would like to find a man to spend all free time together to get to know each other better.
if you have any interest to meet me I will be more than happy to meet you too.

I'm still unsure if it's a scam...maybe they entice young males by appealing to their sex drive in hopes to creating desires of getting with sexy foreign women...and then ask for money to help get them here? I dont know - that's the first thing that came to my mind. Or maybe, this is their way to getting here, and possibly getting married so they can stay here? If that's the case, I have to say it's quite ambitious...but how the hell she got my email address, I have no clue...but decent cleavage, right? and hey! this could be a great way to acquired an indentured servant, or perhaps love slave? Just remember - if this happens to you - beware of them internet predators.

fun foto faces, lesson #2: donkey lips a.k.a. sock puppets

Alright!! it is summer and it's time for more fun foto faces - everyone is going on trips or at least going out on the weekends. that usual foto smile that everyone has and uses can get a bit boring after a few hundred fotos try this one - it's called 'donkey lips,' although Randall James calls it 'sock puppets.'

As for how to go about it, you have to relax your lips and cheeks...the sets on your face, not the lower set. when trying to do this face, especially after getting good pic, everyone else will start laughing uncontrollably, making it difficult to relax your cheeks. the idea is to blow air out with the right force to make your lips flop. i recommend closing your jaw/teeth and trying it. when you get it right, you will here a motor-boating sound...yes, sweet sweet motor-boating...does that doing anything for girls by the way? i just think it sounds funny, but don't find anything sexy about it. anyway, you need to take a few pics because it's all up to timing.

Randall James here is demonstrating donkey lips with poor timing on the fotographer's part. it just looks normal, nothing to special, just a pouty face:

it may help to count down because it is hard to hold the motor-boating sound for very long. it is usually cut short by hysterical laughter. when you get it right, you'll know and if you relax your lips and cheeks a lot, you can get what we call 'crypt-keeper teeth' as demonstrated by yours truly:

and Ross is the man at 'donkey lips.' it helps to have big lips and/or a big mouth. Ross, you make me proud:

gang wars

the mustache gang

randy with horchata - typical

the brutal initiation

the payoff (mmmmm...cutie!!)

randy roaring like a lion (horchata burp)...with the cute girl definitely impressed...nice work, randy!